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What The Hell Do I Do With These Frightening Ghost Peppers

The trick with ghost peppers is to figure out a way to make use of them without reducing the upper three quarters of yourself to a burbling pink froth pooled around your disembodied lower legs where they stand in their dorky, unfashionable shoes. (Your shoes are dorky and unfashionable, Will. I’m sorry.) Because, your ghost peppers can be made to add welcome piquant heat to your food if used properly, but they can also be used to sear a hole in spacetime through which the wholesale nhl jerseys china Old Gods will emerge from their eldritch prison in the chaos dimension, and that is just a bad deal all around, buddy.

This means finding a use for your peppers that maximizes your control over how much of their heat you add to any given portion of food. Relish might be OK for this, except that it’s probably not realistic to think that you’ll be able to achieve any meaningful diminishment of the ghost peppers’ piquancy by cooking them. This means you’ll have to choose between extracting and discarding the inner membrane and thus losing out on nearly all the heat in the peppers, as well as all the use you might make of it or including it, and taking the chance that an unsuspecting eater might take a bite of it and have his brain come boiling out of his ears and nostrils.

Chop your peppers into small pieces (if they’re dried, grind them with a mortar and pestle), then cook them in some vegetable oil over very low heat for a while. Work in batches: cook some of the chopped chilis, then strain them out if they start to burn; retain the oil, and use it to cook some more of the chilis. Eventually, you’ll have a fiery orange or red oil that is absolutely fucking terrifying to cheap jerseys look at. Pour it into a sterilized glass bottle or jar, seal the lid, and store it in a dark place for, oh, a while? Maybe a few months?

(Here’s an important note regarding working with chilis. It’s fun to joke about the piquancy melting your head and shit, but: there’s actual risk involved when wrangling what are essentially small, pretty capsaicin bombs. That shit is pepper spray, and it is No Joke. Wear gloves whenever you’re exposing your hands to the inner parts of ghost peppers. Don’t put your face over the mortar when you’re grinding them, or over the pot when they’re cooking. Clean the holy hell out of every implement and surface that comes into direct contact with the peppers, or with the gloves that have handled the peppers. Don’t casually rub your itchy nose or your eyes while working with ghost peppers. Wash your hands thoroughly before wholesale nfl jerseys you handle contact lenses. Ghost peppers are even more painful to your other mucous membranes than they are for the inside of your mouth.)

Eh, don’t go too crazy with your steaks, Mark. You want to accent not compete with the mild but very amazingly tasty flavor of beef that has been caramelized on the outside and left mostly unmolested on the inside (which is how you serve your steaks because you like things that are good). For my money, mankind has yet to improve upon the combination of freshly cracked black pepper (lots and lots of it) and a generous pinch of salt, gently pressed onto the meat shortly before its exposure to heat, and then a pat of good butter left to melt atop the steak immediately after it finishes cooking. You can probably get away with a splash of worcestershire sauce after the steak cooks, while it’s resting in its juices before being served, but you shouldn’t need more than that.

Not for nothing, but: This isn’t totally true, the bit about everything cooked in cast iron tasting better. There’s no particular reason you’d need cast iron to make some eggs. The virtue of a good cast iron pan is the shrieking intensity of heat it can handle; foods which need to be cooked over that kind of heat will benefit from cast iron. Eggs, on the other hand eh, what the hell, go ahead and use your cheapo nonstick coated piece of crap. It doesn’t really make all that big a difference, unless you’re making them in batches.

Yes! Wash it thoroughly with soap and hot water (it’s OK to use those at this point, since the skillet isn’t seasoned yet), dry it completely, then scour the rust off of it with some sturdy steel wool. See how easy that seems? It isn’t. It’s a huge fucking pain in the ass. Scour and scour and scour. It’s gonna take a long time and you’re gonna have forearms the size of toddlers when you’re done. Park yourself in front of the TV and watch, like, the entire run of The Dick Van Dyke Show while you work. Scour and scour and scour and scour.

Now, use a towel to clean off all the dust you created with your scouring, and season your skillet. We covered this before (second question here), but: rub the entire surface of the skillet with a rag that has been dipped in vegetable oil (or canola oil or ghee or bacon fat or whatever), then stick it in a 350 degree oven for a half hour, then wipe it down with a dry rag, then let it cool. Then repeat. Then repeat again. Do it five or six times, and your pan will be coated with a wonderfully stick and rust resistant plastic coating. Which you will preserve wholesale jerseys by never washing it with soap again, and also never cooking highly acidic stuff like tomatoes in it, ever ever ever, OK?

Michael, the best dip of all is guacamole, and this is beyond dispute. However, guacamole is one of those foods that, because it is green and mushy and ooh scawy scawy avocados awe gonna get meeee!!!, certain overgrown toddlers masquerading as grownups get all I don’t like things that are good in its presence. You may serve these people French onion dip, which is not the second best dip (that’d be crab dip, which is also frightening to anthropomorphized horse’s asses), but which is tasty and nonthreatening and probably less likely to harsh the vibe at your group gathering than giving those food scared weenies what they deserve, which is to be whacked on the head with a length of hose and dipped into a swamp.Articles Connexes:

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